i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
