It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
