well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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