Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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