All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
