This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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