i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
