Christians are straight up FREAKS
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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