I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Someone came in the potted fern
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
