Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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