weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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