Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
