the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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