So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
