so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
