You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
