hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
