I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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