Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
