Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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