I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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