I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
