i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
