Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
