At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
