it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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