u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
