Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
