She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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