somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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