Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It's shark week go big or go home
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
