I bet he comes in French.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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