i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
