i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
