i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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