How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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