What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
