I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
