I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
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