If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
