mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
