Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I was not drunk enough for that final.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
