plz talk dirty to me
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
