ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
