Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
birth control should be required to get into college
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
