I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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