No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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