So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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