she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
