She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
